It was 1984...................... My son was 7 years old and the schools were going full force instructing them about possible children abductions and how to avoid it. It was a very scary time for them Our town had a Saturday where we took the kids for finger printing just to have it on file. One of the points of instruction they were hammering into the kid's heads was that no adult should ask a kid for directions and it was suggested for them to start yelling and run in the opposite direction into a neighbor's house/yard. One afternoon the kids were playing outside and lo & behold there comes my son, running and yelling, out of breath afraid and hugged me nervously. I asked him what happened. He told me: Mom, an adult asked me for directions! proudly he added.......... and the Domino Pizza sign on top of his car was not going to fool me! We still pick on him about that and he is now 31 years old.

chic little: Daddy, itchy itchy... Dad: Where? chic little: north of my ass Dad: ......

One day I had one of my kindergartners come up to me and say, “Hey Ms. Minuto, are you from Tennessee?” I said, “Umm, no… why?” to which he replied with a big grin, “Because you’re the only ten I see!!!” I almost died laughing!!

Presenting to you the cutest Mr. Fredricksen from the Pixar movie up!

so my sister and me we ate at a nice place. we play in the bathroom. toilet paper is fun but doesn't make good airplanes. it was everywhere my little sisters crawls underneath and plays there a while. toilet paper toilet paper. mom wonders where we are. she gets mad and drags us out. when we went in the bathroom there werent any people. but now we are being dragged out the front door there are lots of people waiting for seats. my sister and i are laughing laughing laughing and we cant stop. mom has 4 strings of toilet paper on her shoes and people are looking and one guy pointed and dragged his wife out of the wife of the crazy lady with toilet paper on her shoes dragging two little girls out the door who are laughing histericaly.

Kid: “I like animals.” Dad: “Do you think someday maybe you’ll want a pet?” Kid: “Well… I had a pet lobster yesterday… but you ate it.”

In 1934, Russia was invaded with the Americans. Then There's a girl who is adopted. She saw the blackberry & its not working. She puts it on the orange but it was birthmarks on it. Then It grew & turned into a vegetable man & could walk. The food is happy to help people in the mood. - Samuel Turner

A picture says a thousand words. You can now share your kid's funny moment in both words and pictures at KidsFunnystories.com.

Stopping at a gas station in the middle of an eight hour drive home, woke my 6 year old son up to go to the bathroom. My wife said, "come on, time to go pee, we got a long way ahead of us," he said no, he doesn't need to go. I said, "you have to try because you won't get another chance for 50 miles. He got angry and. Said I really don'twanttogo!! Since he was sleeping and didn't really drink, we thought, maybe he really doesn't need to go. i said alright, let's get back to the road then....... Then my son started yelling NOOooo.... Everyone looked at him and he said "I don't need to go pee!!! I said we know, we are leaving now.... He paused.... And yelled, BUT, I need to go poop!!!

Does Baby Back Ribs come from Babies? - asked by my frightened 6yrs old